Priceless...

A good friend posted this at a board I visit and omg it was to funny to let get past me so have to share this with you so the laughter keeps rolling..

Subject: LIZARD BIRTHING If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! Overview: I had to take my son's lizard to the vet. Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious Dad, can you help?" I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!" "Oh my! Gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged "Hey, how can that be? I t thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife. "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" She inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together). "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (again with the sarcasm... you think?) By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience", I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth" "Oh, gross!" they shrieked. "Well, isn't T HAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?) We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified. "Do something, Dad!" my son urged. "Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results. "Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?) "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don 't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing,but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.) The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. And Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. "Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us.. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen ... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um...masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's jus t...just... Excited." my wife offered. "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness. Tears were now running down her face, laughing..."It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled he lizards and our son back into the car. "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me. "Oh, you have NO idea,". Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter. 2 - Lizards - $140... 1 - Cage - $50... Trip to the Vet - $30... Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie.....Priceless Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs!
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my sides hurt I laughed so hard.. thanks O&W for shareing ..

I guess.....

I need to learn how to talk better .. dunno its stupid how trying to give an honest complement could give me the case of funk I find my self in .. I was trying to say I liked her for her outlook and the fact she was nice to know but she said I was talking "down " to her like she was stupid .. That wasn't my intent but she took it that way... and it firkin bothered me that I couldn't even do one thing right with these people .. is there a special way to give a complement to some one? The lady is funny interesting and has lots of qualities I admire in a person and she said I was talking down to her .. that's really stupid .. now that I think about it I should realize that women don't do complements well they are afraid to accept them.. I wasn't trying to pander to this woman I was trying to say thanks for being yourself but my bad she took the wrong way.. yeh I got put in my place .. guess my shit don't stink good enough yanno .. .. just sad really that this happens but as I sit here thinking and blogging I realize we do lose people skills when we "live" on the Internet .. is it because we don't have the body language to take our cues from or the eyes to watch as we talk? I dunno, how much do others read folks like that for cues in how they react to us & I do miss that bit of extra in my daily interchanges on line .. I loved the fact that with a vid camera I could have that ..but seems most folks are afraid to use them..why ? We used to sit down and enjoy having coffee or such in each others homes .. how is this camera thing any different? Is it the distances or the fact we really don't know each other? making friends takes effort it usually starts with a complement and a laugh .. only I guess I need to learn how to do that better yanno? I don't know; really I am just bummed is all.
Anyone want to teach me the art of talking better to others ?

The Stranger at our house

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.) Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but The stranger never felt obligated to honour them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our long-time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished. He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave. More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures. His name?
We just call him "TV."
He has a younger sister now. We call her "Computer."

_________________
http://sezfoxie.blogspot.com/
It is not good for all our wishes to be filled; through sickness we recognize the value of health; through evil, the value of good; through hunger, the value of food; through exertion, the value of rest.

Mothers Day walk down Memory Lane

BEING A MOM
Before I was a Mom

I never tripped over toys orforgot words to a lullaby.I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests. Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,

Before I was a Mom.

@----->------

Happy Mothers Day everyone!!

The Burning Times Lyrics

I've had this song this pagan anthem of protest song in my files for a long time Its a beautiful piece written by a very talented man .. I first heard this in the um late 90s at a AOL place called the pagan tea house .. my friend Peter Conover was the singer and the words became majik to my ears .. This is a very powerful song you can use a tambor to keep time or a drum play with it sing it speak it let the words wash over you and take pleasure in the sounds of this song .. and remember ......

The Burning Times

By: Charlie Murphy

In the cool of evening, they used to gather'Neath stars in the meadows,

circled near an old oak tree

At the times appointed, by the seasons of the Earth,

And the phases of the moon

In the center often stood a woman

Equal with the others but respected for her work

One of the many we call the witches

The healers and the teachers of the wisdom of the Earth

And the people grew through the knowledge she gave them:

Herbs to heal their bodies, spells to make their spirits whole

Hear them chanting, healing incantations

Calling forth the wise ones, celebrating in dance and song.

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

There were those who came to power, through domination

And they bound it in the worship, of a dead man on a cross

They sought control, of the common people

By demanding allegiance, to the church of Rome

And the Pope declared the Inquisition

It was a war against the witches, whose power they had feared.

In this holocaust against the nature people

Nine million European women died.

And the tale is told of those who, by the hundred

Holding together, chose their death in the Sea

While chanting the praises of the Mother Goddess

A refusal of betrayal, people were dying to be free.

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

Now the Earth is a witch, and the men still burn Her.

Stripping Her down with mining and the poisons of their wars.

But to us the Earth is a healer, a teacher, our mother

She weaves the web of life, that keeps us all alive

She gives us the visions to see through the chaos

She gives us our courage. It is our will to survive!

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali, Inanna

Moving day

sheesh I hate to move BUT looking forwards to haveing a place by the window for my desk a big yard and a nice kitchen .. so with that thought in mind I am pulling the plug here for about a week and doing my thing.. wish me luck. I will be back soon to tell you about the adventure called moving to a new place

The Leaf and the Wind

Leaf looked out across the broad, dawn-pink sky and down over the beautiful spring garden. The dewy breeze grazed it and left it shimmering, fluttering. As it moved, Leaf saw all the corners of the garden with its flowers, bushes, trees and animals. Leaf stretched to catch every sight and sound. It was a new leaf at the top of a very old tree. Leaf adored all the elements - wind, sun and rain. But it was in love with the wind. Wind gave it the freedom of motion. Without the breeze it would never have seen the world below or from side to side. Wind rocked Leaf to sleep and shook it awake. Wind made Leaf dance. Wind whistled haunting tunes through the branches, it whispered and sometimes it even sang. On many days, Wind told Leaf of the places it had been. "All across the Rivers and down to the sea have I been," whispered Wind. On that day, Leaf could even smell the scent of the water and salty places of which Wind spoke. "High up the mountain to the very door of Heaven today," Wind told, as the fresh clean smells settled down upon Leaf. "I have seen where the Blue-sky ends and birds cease to wing. I have heard the voice of Life itself and it is so beautiful." Leaf shuddered with the thought of having Life speak to it as it did to Wind. "When will life speak to me?" Leaf asked Wind. The breeze warmed as it blew over Leaf and Wind said softly, "You can Hear Life's voice in me." Whenever it blew past, be it a breeze or gale, the little green leaf waved a joyful greeting to Wind - like the hand of a happy child to a loved one. "I will love you for all time," Leaf whispered to the moving air around it. "I could not be happier." Hearing this promise Tree itself shook and emitted a deep chuckle. "I am glad you are happy now," the tree said. "Enjoy your youth and beauty while you can, for soon enough you will be withered and brown, dry as dust and blown away with by the same breeze that stirs your heart today." Leaf stiffened at these words. The other leaves said nothing. One or two fell like tears before their time, so stricken were they by the sadness. "That is not so!" Leaf cried. Tree shook again and said, "Oh but it is true. I have seen many, many leaves from many trees fall and crumble. Your time will come to curse the wind and the way of things. Wind is old and you are young. Ask Wind sometime." The tree said no more. Leaf tried not to think about what Tree had said. Of course it had heard the stories of how leaves grow old and die, but still it would never be hateful. That very day, Leaf made a decision. It shouted to the world, "I will Never hate Wind. I will not give in to fear or unhappiness." Still, the next time Wind came to call, Leaf could not help but ask. "When I become old, dry and brittle will you destroy me as Tree says," Leaf asked. Wind was silent for a long moment. "I will not destroy you my dear one," Wind said. "All Earthly things grow old and dry. That is not my doing." Leaf was shaking and Wind could see the fear beginning to overtake Leaf. Wind added, "Keep your promise not to give in to hate and sorrow and when the time comes for you to fall, I will be there to catch you. It will be a beginning and not and end for you." Again Leaf felt strong. "Tell me of your travels," Leaf said. Wind spoke well into the night. Time passed. Leaf grew and changed. At first it became very big and strong. Then, as the air grew chill, Leaf began to take on the most magnificent colors. First a yellow cast and then little patches of red and gold began to creep across it. "You are most beautiful today," whispered Wind. "I do not think that of all the leaves in the world there is one to match you." Leaf shook a bit, knowing full well that many of the others had also begun to change and take on different hues. Still, the words brought joy. "It is the beginning of the end for you and all your kind," Tree said. "Soon now, oh so soon, you will be nothing but a speck in the dirt." All the other leaves began to droop and some even tumbled from their homes early as the weight of that unhappy thought dragged them down to Earth. Not Leaf. "Words, words, words," Leaf laughed. "You cannot harm me with words. I choose to be happy with my fate. Others choose to be sad. The only one who will be sad when I am gone is you old tree for then who will you talk to?" Tree shook with frustration and anger. "You will see," Tree bellowed. "You will be dirt!" As days passed Leaf began to feel thin and tired. The bright colors that covered Leaf darkened to brown and Leaf knew its time grew short. Still it would not be sad because each day now Wind told Leaf of the wonderful adventures that were to come. Just seeing Leaf cling to happiness while all those around it fell made Tree angry. One day it could stand it no more and when Wind came to call, Tree shook for all it was worth and Leaf snapped away from its branch and began to fall. Tree watched and waited for Leaf to scream and cry, to realize what horror had just befallen it. Instead Tree heard the sound of laughter. One moment Leaf was held fast to Tree and the next it was falling, flipping end over end. "I am flying!" Leaf laughed in pure joy. "You are falling! Plunging," shouted Tree. "I am soaring like a little bird," Leaf sang out. "See how I go!" Leaf felt something lift it up. It was Wind come to keep its promise. "I cannot take you far right now, just to rest on the ground. No matter what happens, do not be afraid. I will return for you." Wind carried Leaf ever so gently to the ground and allowed it to rest there. Leaf could feel the rumble of the roots from Tree as it laughed and said," You see? Now you are ready to become like all the others. It is all just as I said. Just give up now." Leaf was not stirred to sadness by Tree's words. It did not answer, but lay quietly looking up at the world. It all looked so different now. After a time, Leaf nodded off to sleep and a long time passed before it woke. Instead of feeling old, stiff and papery, Leaf felt suddenly free to move about. It could hear wind singing softly through the trees and felt itself being lifted and spun higher and higher. "Did I not promise all would be well," crooned Wind. "You have become the dust of the Earth, so light and so fine that I can carry you anywhere with me." And so Wind did carry the dust of Leaf and scattered it over fields, onto the backs of birds that flew to mountains and into streams that led to oceans. Finally Wind seeded the clouds with the last few tiny grains that were once Leaf and Leaf came back to Earth with rains and snows. Everywhere it fell the remains of Leaf brought a grain of pure joy, a drop Of hope and touch of love for wind and life. One day in springtime Wind rustled past Tree and heard Tree telling all the young leaves about the Leaf that had loved the Wind and perished in the dirt. Wind came back through Tree singing a breezy tune, "Listen my children, but not to those who tell you that your fate is in the dirt. Listen to me instead. I will tell the tale of how you will become Heaven's Dust. Believe and you will never dread." If ever you wonder which leaves listen to Wind and not Tree, look up on a stormy day and see, which ones wave, a joyous greeting and which fall down in sorrow.

Pandora ( a short story )

Pandora retold pagan style
The Maiden, being young and giddy, was watching the Men and Women as they played and laughed in the Garden one morning. She turned to the Fool, blinked her eyes, and said, "They are so fine and good, smiling all the time. How will they ever learn and grow if they have no obstacles; if there is no pain?"
And Trickster smiled a mad smile, and gave the Maiden a box. It was a small box, of something that might have been wood, but wasn't, and it had no lock on it. It did, however, have a small, neatly lettered sign on its lid.
Trickster pointed to the sign, and said, "That's called 'writing.' I haven't invented it yet."
"Oh," said the Maiden, "But what's in the box?"
"Oh," said Trickster, "You don't want to know!"
"I don't?" said the Maiden, slightly miffed, "But I'm Deity!"
"I know that," Trickster grinned, "But you still don't want to know."
"Well...all right." And the Maiden flounced away, very much put out.
Trickster watched Her go, and grinned. He then put the box down where the Maiden could see it whenever She looked in that direction, and sauntered away, eating an apple.
The Maiden looked at the box for several days.
"I wonder what's in there..." She would think to Herself. "That Person is always up to some trick."
Finally, Her curiosity got the best of Her, and She walked into the Garden and picked up the box.
She sat down under the apple tree, and spread Her skirts about Her, and placed the box on Her lap.
She looked at it for a long time, and then thought, "Well! A little peek inside can't do any harm..." And She opened the box.
Immediately, the lid sprang off, and a cloud of tiny things flew out! They were like flies, or mosquitoes, and they buzzed crazily about Her head for a moment, and then flew off in all directions.
Trickster stepped out from behind the tree.
"Well, now You've done it," He said.
"Done what?" asked the Maiden.
"Let loose what was in the box. Pain, and Suffering, and Envy, and Hatred, and Jealousy, and War, and Covetousness, and Sloth, and quite a lot more."
Just then, the box gave a great heave, and a very tiny, very bright little Something flew out.
Trickster smiled a warm smile, and said, "...and Hope. I'm an eternal optimist. Want an apple?"
"I guess so," said the Maiden. "What did it say on the lid, anyway?"
"The usual. You know, 'Do Not Open This Box.'"
"Oh. I guess I messed up, huh?"
He smiled at Her, and said, "Not really. We would have had to do it anyway, and this makes a better story, though they might get it wrong."
They both looked at the Men and Women, who were now sitting around on the grass arguing with each other. A couple of the Men were fighting, and a group of the Women were talking in whispers about another group of Women. Another Man had fenced off a section of the Garden, while another was coughing a little with a bewildered expression on his face.
"Excuse me for a bit," said Trickster. "I guess I have to be the One to finish this, and get them started up the Path."
He walked briskly over to the Men and Women, changing His Aspect as He went, until He appeared as a different sort of Being indeed.
"Time to leave," said the Angel to the Men and Women.
"Yes, we know," they answered, only half sadly, and the Men and the Women started out from the Garden, out on the Path Of Being Human.
Trickster watched them go, out from the Gates.
"Good luck..." He murmured, and he sheathed the Flaming Sword and closed the Gates of Innocence.
Thus it was, and so it is, and evermore shall be so!

HELP!! I gotta start tossing this junk!

STILL Packing, does it never end? oh I do wonder .. I got very early this morning to start on my computer cases and asst puter junks .. Just tossed out at least a 1000 old floppies from my first computer sheesh we have come along ways baby my new computer doesn't even have a floppy drive !!I have 5 keyboards 7 assorted colored mice ( all new never used or opened, I have to tell ya why; they are the regular old fashioned mouse .. sorry no good for me .. I use a marble ball mouse and will never go back to that damn squeaker style ) two new stacks of CD's and cords for speakers for power for pereferials and shesh you name it PLUS tons and tons of paper copy .. I saved everything it seems stuck it in a box and never looked at it again .. it is definitely toss time. I also have 4 complete computers and the towers for two more.. they all work to .. just need monitors is all sad part is I only use two the dell and the new gateway.. Guess I need to sell some stuff .. yeh!! yard sale time is coming up can do that really easy now since we now have a real yard to do it in.
I do believe we will have a good one to we have so much junk stuck away in a storage room or two .. baby stuff that needs to be sold off, toys , small accent stuff to make the house prettier than it already is .. I guess we are civilized pack-rats here an extra microwave we didn't have room for and everyone hated because of its size and all the complicated crap that ya had to deal with just to use it to reheat the coffee in yer cup .. TWO blenders? .. now how the hell did that happen?....oh yeh I was hunting thru the puter crap .. yep yep got 3 printers all used but they worked until I ran out of ink .. now why did I store them ?? cant buy ink for the one anymore its a very old style printer .. yanno the kind that used the folded paper .. loud pissy and ink gobbler I think that was the first printer I ever bought .. still hate to toss out working items .. bet most of you have the same issues with good working tools as well. well this one I know I have to toss cant buy ink for it anymore and not about to sell it to some poorer than me fool who only wants to have a slice of the great pie called computer toys. What else is here ? BOOKS on everything from your first computer to the idiots guide to repair to an aol handbook on learning how to computer .. omg that funny as hell to me because my first computer was an old Packard Bell- Windows 95 and had it hooked to aol because I didn't know any better. :: dies laughing now:: sheesh it still has the aol 3 on it now that's old stuff !! oh yeh I do still have the Packard Bell.. oh thats funny to see how far I have come since 1999 when I first got on line.. that old clunker let me into the world of la la land and let me learn to type .. spell checker was broken so that didn't happen and for some one like me who was not tech smart that was an awesome window .. what the hey the old clunker still works is just slow at times to load but has a ton of memory on it yep still good can set it up for the g/kids who like to play simple computer games .. OMG !! I gotta go thru some of those tossed floppies theres games on them for the kids that work on the Packard Bell!! See ya later I gotta get that bag outta the dumpster !!

In Sand & Stone

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT.

DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY,

THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT;

AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT,

BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,

WROTE IN THE SAND: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING, UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS, WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, '

BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING,

HE WROTE ON A STONE: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE ".

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,

YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,

YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED "WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,

WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,

AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,

A DAY TO LOVE THEM,

BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

SEND THIS PHRASE TO THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.

I JUST DID.

IF YOU DON'T SEND IT TO ANYONE, IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.

TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE !

AND IF I HAPPEN TO GET IT BACK,

THEN I KNOW MY PLACE IN YOUR LIFE

~*~

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know whats inside until you take a bite"

* Forrests Gumps momma

So it is with friendships whether we make them on line or off.. I thought the story was a wonderful thing to share this morning and of course the quote from Mama Gump.. Na Not in a personal sharing mode today .. to busy packing up my house and getting ready for the move to a bigger place.. sheesh gotta go buy curtain rods for those windows, at least I don't have to paint its all done and everything looks nice and fresh. gonna be fun blending styles .. transitional modern with old victorian . I gotta go make a pot of coffee and get started this morning.. you all have a great day inn life hear? :: hands out a small chisel and a hammer for the stone work ahead::

make it a good one folks

/\

Foxie

Balloon story

A little boy blows up a balloon and starts flicking it all around the house with his finger. His mother tells him to stop it as he's liable to break something, but the boy continues. "Johnny!" Mom screams. "Knock it off." You're going to break something. He stops and eventually Mom leaves for a short trip to the shopping center. Johnny starts up with the balloon again after his mom has left for the store. He gives it one last flick and it lands in the toilet where he leaves it. Mom comes in and while putting away the grocery, gets the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes. When she's finished, she looks down and can't believe what she's seeing. She's not sure what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls her doctor. The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation, but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine everything. When he arrives she leads him to the bath room and he gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of touches it to see what it might be and POP! The balloon explodes and poop is everywhere. On him, the walls, etc.
"Doctor! Doctor! Are you all right?" she asks. He says, "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and this is the first time I've ever actually seen a fart !"-

~*~
You're laughing aren't you..I know you are!!!

Oh Joy .. Packing up

getting ready to move .. sheesh didnt relize we had so much stuff.. kinda a downsize yet its not that bad a deal, going from a 4 bedroom to a 3 bedroom but the trade off is worth it .. the 4 bedroom is a walk up flat on the 2 floor of the building no yard for my grand kids and no place to park .. the new place is a 3 bedroom street level with a yard and off street parking plus a city park right accross the street & still with in walking distance of everything we want or need not so bad.. still shareing a bed room with my granddaughter but no biggie but the new place has a dinning room and lots of windows and such. anyways all this stuff!! omg I gotta stop shopping.

The Woman Within

What a Woman Needs

One old love she can imagine going back to & new one who reminds her how far she has come.

Enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own;

even if she never wants to or needs to.

Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour.

A youth she is content to leave behind &

A past juicy enough that she is looking forward to retelling it in her old age.

The realisation that she is actually going to have an old age, and some money set aside to fund it.

A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra.

One friend who always makes her laugh;and one who lets her cry.

A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.

Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored.

A resume that is not even the slightest bit padded.

A feeling of control over her destiny.

~*~

Every Woman Should Know

- how to fall in love without losing herself.

- how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.

- when to try harder, and when to walk away.

- how to have a good time at a party she'd never choose to attend.

- how to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she'll get it.

- that she can't change the lenght of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.

- that her childhood may not have been perfect, but it is over.

- what she would and wouldn't do for love or more.

- how to live alone, even if she doesn't like it.

- whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally.

- where to go, be it to her best friend's kitchen table, or a charming inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing.

- what she can and can't accomplish in a day, a month, a year.

~*~

How to Recognize a Good Woman

A good woman is proud.

She respects herself and others.

She is aware of who she is;

she neither seeks definition from the person she is with,nor does she expect them to read her mind.

She is quite capable of articulationg her needs.

A good woman is hopeful.

She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true.

She knows love, therefore she gives love.

She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated.

If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.

A good woman has a dash of inspiration and a dabble of endurance.

She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach the potential the Gods gave them.

A good woman knows her past, understands her present and forces toward the future.

A good woman does not live in fear of the future because of her past.

Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons meant to bring her closer to self-knowledge and unconditional self-love.

~*~*~*~

A long time ago I gave those words posted above to a friend of mine as a gift she kept them and read them many time over the years ..we lost touch for a time and life went on still she held the words close to her heart waiting for the chance to give them back to me and so she has .. Thank you my friend my sister of the heart .. may the Goddess bless and hold you close always.

Love Foxie

With a little bit of faith and a lot of luck

A friend sent this to me and I thought it wonderful enough to share with you folks .. enjoy ! oh and pass it on to the next guy ....


His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, whiletrying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help comingfrom a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screamingand struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from whatcould have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparsesurroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introducedhimself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved. "I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life." "No, I ca n't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmerreplied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer's own son cameto the door of the family hovel. "Is that your son?" the nobleman asked. "Yes," the farmer replied proudly. "I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education myown son will enjoy If the lad is anything like his father, he'll nodoubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of." And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time,graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went onto become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming,the discoverer of Penicillin. Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog wasstricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill. Someone once said: What goes around comes around. Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. Sing like nobody's listening. Live like it's Heaven on Earth. It's National Friendship Wee k. Send this to everyone you consider A FRIEND. Pass this on, and brighten some one's day.

May there always be work for your hands to do; May your purse always hold a coin or two; May the sun always shine on your windowpane; May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain; May the hand of a friend always be near you; May the Gods fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

The Pit ( short story for yer pleasure)

The Lord looked askance at the Fool, who was busy making faces behind the Lady's back.
"So, which of your Aspects have you enjoyed the most?" he said.
The Fool looked up, wiggling his ears.
"Stop that!" grinned the Lord, "I'd really like to know!"
"Well.....I suppose that it would be a toss-up between Dionysus, Tyl Eulenspiegel, and Krishna, I guess. Tyl had a whopping good time, Dionysus got to be pretty much drunk, mostly, and Krishna had those sweet little milk-maids......THAT was a good time! But Coyote gets to do most everything. I guess I like Him the best."
The Lord sat back against a tree, folded His hands, and smiled.
"Yeah, ol' Coyote gets to do everything all right...except catch the Roadrunner," he said.
"Well," said the Fool, with a lopsided grin, "I guess I'm the only One of Us that perpetually chases Myself!"
The Lady turned, and, Aspecting the Nymph, dropped a large grasshopper down the Fool's back. She giggled, and ran off over the fields of Summerland.
The Lord laughed, pounding His fists on the ground as the Fool jumped and twisted, trying to reach the insect.
Between whoops of laughter, He said, "Did you ever figure out what 'Updoc' was?"
"Shaddup!" said the Fool.
The Fool leaned back against the brick wall of the alley and said, "I'd like to tell you a story. It seems that a man fell into a deep pit, and couldn't get himself out. He was in a world of hurt, and pretty unhappy. Pretty soon, a Subjectivist type of person came along and said, 'I feel for you down there,' but did nothing."
"An Objectivist wandered by next, and said, 'It's logical that someone would fall down there.' But he just stood around looking too."
"A Pharisee said, 'Only bad people fall into a pit,' and put his nose in the air and kept walking."
The Fool took a drag from his cigarette and then flipped it expertly into a nearby puddle. Somewhere in the distance of the city a siren wailed.
"Then, a mathematician calculated how he fell into the pit. But all he did was calculate."
"A news reporter wanted the exclusive story on his pit, but was too busy interviewing everyone in sight to help."
"A fanatic fundamentalist shouted, 'You deserve your pit!'"
"Then a government tax-man asked if he was paying taxes on the pit."
"A self-pitying person then whined, 'You haven't seen anything until you've seen MY pit!'"
"Then a Christian Scientist came by, and said, 'Just believe that you're not in a pit.' But that didn't seem to help." He paused, and brushed His hair back from His eyes. After looking around that those who were listening, He continued.
"An optimist said, 'Things could be worse!' But the pessimist disagreed, and said, 'Things -will- get worse!' "
"A Wiccan said, 'MURPHY! You &*$%^#, while a New Ager jumped into the pit to share the experience." A couple of people laughed at this, a bit nervously.
"A Baha'i looked over the edge of the pit and said, 'See the pit as a Spiritual Experience!' while a Moslem murmured that it was God's Will that he was in the pit."
"A Satanist just laughed at the man in the pit and kept walking."
"A conspiracist rubbed his hands together in glee, and said, '-They- threw you into the pit! I -knew- it!'"
"A Jew said, 'Why are we -always- in a pit?' "
"A Communist shouted 'Why are you in the People's Pit without permission?'"
"An Alcoholic muttered to himself, 'It's not -my- fault you're in the pit.....' "
"A Liberal said, 'Those Conservatives must have dug this pit!'"
"A Conservative said, 'See where Liberalism has gotten you?' "
"A TV Evangelist came by and promptly took up a collection from the bystanders."
" Then, several well-meaning people came by, and wanted to help, but they were too busy arguing whether to throw him a ladder, or a shovel, or to hire a helicopter with a rope ladder, or to call the fire department or police to manage to get anything done."
"A well-known radio cult hunter said, between requests for money, 'See! Satan threw you into the pit!'"
"A doper looked blearily at him, and said, a bit incoherently, 'Far out! Got any more pit?'" "A Hindu said that the man's karma had put him into the pit, and a television news commentator shouted, 'Man in a pit! Why is the government responsible?'"
But then, a Good Samaritan came along, looked at the man in the pit and at all the others standing around pursuing their own agendas, and said, quietly, 'Here are two shovels. Let's get you out of the pit.'"
The Fool looked around at His listeners, grinned, and said, "He that hath ears to hear with, let him hear."
He shoved His hands into his jacket, and walked away thru the puddles, idly kicking at an empty beer can.
"Pretty good!" said the Lady.
"Maybe," said the Fool, "But not up to the Sermon On The Mount."
"That one -was- one of Your best," She agreed.
"Yeah," He said, "But even then, they ignored most of it. Oh well. Some of it caught on, at least."
"It takes a while," said the Lord, "But they -are- learning."
"Yes, they are," said the Fool, "But they have a long way to go yet."
The Lady smiled warmly, and said, "They'll get there."
Thus it was, and so it is, and evermore shall be so!

self abuse.. sheesh never again

OMG have pity on me .. I abused myself by allowing the 12 old to have a sleepover party.. pre teen girls giggle and laugh in highpitched squeaky voices.. my ears hurt .. they go to bed at some ungodly hour only to bounce up bright eyed and bushy tailed at 5 am oh and they wake the rest of the house as well .. gah I want to go to sleep already and its only 10 am .. and the littleones are up ..nope no rest for me
what do you feed kids that dont like chocolate malt-o-meal sheesh the stay over doesnt "do" malt-o-meal not even chocolate.. okkk cold Pizza? oh no thanks doesnt like pineapple stuff .. humm wellllll what to feed em? oh cute the kid wants donuts .. the bakery is NOT opened today .. Nope not gonna drive to the store .. sooo now what .. oh yeh cake mix in the cuboards .. sure kids I can do that .. still havent had that first cup of coffee give me a minute please ... 20 minutes go by NOW I am awake .. where was I oh yeh cake ...good gawd they ate a whole 13x9 cake ..I didnt get any...musta been good cause they inhaled it by time I was pourning my second cuppa coffee. :: snickers to self:: the stay over kid went home with a huge sugar buzz.. hope her folks have fun with her..

UTHO

::yawns rubs eyes :: I just woke up to the fact I have this blog.. omg I goofed and screwed around and nearly forgot my name and my stage .. that would have been to much I would have lost the wonderful songs sung by a demon and That would have broken my heart .. He is such a gift you know.. and I do treasure him greatly.. He makes many folks smile with his joy of life and all that goes on around him..thank you dear friend and your beautiful wife for waiting for me to re appear once more.

Never again will I be so forgetful of this wonderful toy .. blessings on you Deepak and beautiful Adha for waiting for me to return..

What if Religions were required to be kind?

A kind religious world - now there lies a radical idea. Can we imagine a world where Jews and Muslims are not fighting over a Holy Land that supposedly was left exclusively to each by a confused God who is the God of both?
Can we imagine a world where Hindus and Muslims are not killing each other in India and Pakistan and Kashmir? A world where Jerry Falwell and company are not calling hell and damnation down onto homosexuals and others made in the image of God? And where inquisitions and crusades are outlawed and apologies are made by Popes for anti-Semitism, witch burnings, crusades, and inquisitions of the past? And where the gold stolen from the indigenous peoples of the Americas that still adorns the churches in Rome might be returned to its poverty-stricken rightful owners? Yes, a kind religion would be a revolution. The word kindness, after all, comes from the word for kin. It is about how we treat those who are nearest to us. It is a family word. If religion were required to be kind it would have to find kinship with other religions, or better still, other spiritual traditions. A reconstruction of religion on the basis of fierce kindness and real kinship would require a deconstruction as well. Are we capable of deconstructing our religious attitudes to make room for this reconstructed kindness to emerge? I would hope so, and I suspect that Jesus and Isaiah, Buddha and Muhammad, Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Dalai Lama would concur. In fact, is it so strange a suggestion to propose that this is what they taught in their lifetimes?

Mirror mirror on the wall

?htiw gniyalp ma I tahw eziler ot ekat lliw ti gnol woh rednow htiw lla uoy esaet ot yot wen a yob hO
tuo siht erugif ot gnola uoy evael lliw I daer ot segap dna enim ot atad attog I llew neppah nac gnihtynapah ot ylekil si gnihtyna llafeerf ni dna llafeerf si siht rebmemer yrroS
?rebmemer yzarc uoy ekam ot dna nuf rof si siht annog ton wan ?rekcehc lleps esu naem uoy od tahW

*****
::Chuckles softly :: now wasnt that fun?

Humm, Pickles in more than just a sandwich..

Pickles, do you ever think about them or look at them in a diffrent way? Some folks do .. My friend Dawn does and oh my she is wickedly funny and snidley sly in her twists and turns of a pickled high. Hope you laugh as hard as I did when you read what she has to say about the wonders of a Pickle.

Pickle Song

Some sweet and some sourAll have the shape we love to

Munch, crunch and devour

Vinegar cures them

Makes flavor beyond compare

Heaven to savor

Slowly nibble them

Pickles IS as Pickles DOES

Pucker therapy

I love pickles, oh yesLove to touch, lick and caress

This pickle is YOU

Pickles are symbols

Have any of you surmised

This secret of mine?

Pickles have manhood

In their shape and design

Juicy seeds inside

Engendering lust

Hunger, desire and craving

For all things long-ish

For the "member" thatIt imitates in my mind

My mind so fertile

That all things long-ish

And of that diameter

Makes me romantic

Heart beating quickly

Thinking of silk-skinned hardness

Tasting of sweet salt

Then going back toPickles for generic talk

Those symbols I love.

I will talk of them

Like they are what I want most

But they're not at all.

****

Whoa Dawnie thats to much .. Girl you have a wonderful way of presenting a pickle ..THANKS!

OH mercy.... what a night !!

Oh boy what a night I had! .. I got into the games again.. right now I am playing puzzle games they really push me to the brink at times.. Oh yeh they do.. The one I am playing right now is called heirophant and damn its a boggler .. kinda a rubiks cube without the twisting . and it keeps getting harder.. I thought at first that it was SO easy.. yeh my ass the first two or three levels are .. Called suckering you in and look out once the hook is set your not able to wiggle off!! I cant just walk away from it because why? I'm a sucker .. flat out.. I hate to leave and not win and thats the sucker of this game .. you get so close and trap yourself!I read someplace that women are more into online gameing and stuff then men are.. note this study does not count male children under the age of 18.. seems the kids love to play some games action and such appeal to the lil thugs women on the other hand seem to like any sort of puzzle game.. and we are good at it.. I think thats because puzzles engage us at a level that we are most comfortable with.. we have to think.. oh hell no; males of any age dont think they just wanna do.. apply that statement across the board to males of all ages.. slam bam thank you ma'am to pow bam bang .. doesnt matter they just want instant win or gradifaction.. WOMEN on the other hand THINK first .. oh hell yes I am a snot.
Do you think about the very first games you played ? I remember my fist PC game .. Baulders Gate.. OH wow what a great game .. a huge puzzle of course I think most of us who ever played D&D with friends enjoyed Baulders Gate and we played like crazy for coupla years .. then other stuff came out .. there was war craft.. now that one I didnt like so much .. was kinda pointless. TO ME anyways.. I gave that one away just because I didnt like the damn thing.. I loved Myst and all its spin offs .. again a huge puzzle .. and then theres my all time favorite agame .. Diablo.. the first game was slower than I liked but still kinda kinky and fun in a twisted way.. I got the Diablo :LoD 2 about five years ago and guess what ? I still play it alot.. I have beat the game useing 2 out of the 5 offered classes.. Amazon and Assision.. killer fighters and fun to play .. the Barbarian is fun but he doesnt move in a way I understand. The odd thing is I dont understand the magic user at all she is not my favorite yet I have watched other play her and she is awesome when she is fully developed the Druid I like alot and his powers of the earth are not so diffrent that the mage but he plays diffrently.. a warrior with suprises . the necro and the paladin are fun still learning them and I have been playing this game for nearly 5 yrs .. yeh slow learner I guess. but I have fun with it.. ..Another game .. more a time waster of course is Mah Johgg I like that one to because I can kinda get lost .. its best used when I wanna "hide" from the world.. What do you do for fun on a slow day? I be back later to offer my game scores .. LOL

Oh good morning world!

I got to thinking about how and where I want this blog : this newely created slice of me to go.. I got up this morning and thought well? and the "well" looked back and snickered ... DAMN now thats bad isnt it? .. At a loss because I really dont want to be a flame spewing anti war diss the gov type anymore.. OH dont get me wrong I havent changed at all.. I have how ever sunk to a eye rolling disgust of my goverment and the fool in charge.. respect must be earned and those chickenhawks and liars aint gonna get it from me. Not to say I dont have lots to say about the way they do stuff but I got other places to vent and shake my finger from.
Food? naw to that as well .. I am on a perpetual diet.. coffee and chocolate there is no room for food these days, besides I got a big enough ass anyways... my kids say I am one to begin with..
* ponders * humm must be why I vote a mostly democratic ticket these days .. yanno I used to be a republican yep for years & years untill I fell on hard times and learned a few major lessons..
Music? pass on that to for the most part .. its over done at other places and theres to many kids who know to little of the good stuff .. I keep that to myself as well...
OH I know "pet peeves" thats not one that I have toyed with befor.. I got alot of em to .. the best ones of course come from my own fubars .. yanno the ones about survay says you get a freebie and so ya play and play and play and no end insight? and then just as you give up the last page wants you to buy just one of the offering .. .. now how the flip did that get there? all's I wanted was my free bigscreen SHEESH! oh and because I screwed up and gave my phone number I will be treated to ongoing sales calls at 7 AM from a recording .. OMG the things I do to make my life hell at times. My own fault of course but I do take it out on the few unlucky salesmen who try so hard to be pleseant inspite of my rudeness . They do pretty good for the most part no matter what I say.. I think maybe one or two has hung up on me when I tell em some strange shit about how my blow up dollie got stolen and her antomincally correct blow up SO is still greiveing. I think those were the folks who wanted me to donate to the newest scam by the 700 club or to help buy ol' fartwell a new suit to preach in.. Hell I dont remember .. I just try to brighten MY DAY since those idiots almost ruined it by calling me at the butt crack of dawn . They deserve what they get if I dont have my glass's on and a cup of coffee in my hand befor the phone rings. I am sure you understand my point quite well.
Well enough of this mornings spew and hurbis Its freefall time and I gotta make an effort someplace today.. ya'll have a good day and SMILE they be so busy wondering why ya smilling at em they wont look back at yer arse!

Fresh page

well now a fresh start, a new blog I have learned alot from my first blogging attempts. Hey what can I say for myself? I had to learn someplace didnt I? I read a book today that said.. even whores were once virgins and yanno I kinda think bloggers are that way to. we try many things and edit and reshape and often move our muse to better pastures and always hope for better things. I think here I will just let my feelings and thoughts flow into the true meaning of freefall and enjoy the things that come forth. Poetry and such says alot about a blogger, Some good some bad but in the end its all planted and covered with more of the same.. so join me a little while and see where the ideas take us as I begin the freefall of this new blog